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It may sound a bit contrived but, believe me, it really works.What you have to learn to do is say something like, "Let me make sure that I've understood what you just said.Only then, are you allowed to say something negative or critical.This requires that a husband and wife develop good problem solving skills.Trust is probably the most important ingredient in building an intimate relationship between husband and wife.Trust is something that can be cultivated and nurtured if you will follow the guidelines below.Rabbi Dov Heller is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who holds Masters Degrees in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University and in Contemporary Theology form Harvard University. A in philosophy and was ordained a rabbi in Jerusalem in 1982.He currently runs a private practice in Beverly Hills, California specializing in adult psychotherapy, personal growth counseling, dating coaching, and marital therapy.
We naturally trust people who treat us nicely and who seem to like us.
Im really trying hard i am going to counseling im trying to do everything in my power to save this marriage but my wife keeps saying is shes past the point of wanting to try because of how many times i have messed things up.
I want to keep trying to fix things but she keeps saying she doesnt trust me. It happens her campus is located in another town and lately she has to trip alone with a classmate at AM once a week.
When I own my feelings and opinions by using an I-statement, I am communicating that I am taking responsibility for the issue and not blaming my spouse.
When a person feels he or she cannot express their needs to the other person, then this leads to a break down in trust. Either we are afraid of rejection or we are afraid of feeling ashamed for having such needs.
I can sum up the essence of building trust in one idea: Create a safe emotional space for your spouse.