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Here are some of the cues you need to be aware of: Prior History Volatile, unstable relationships that have had a history of break-ups and re-connections are often laden with unresolved issues.Intimate partners, who can’t live with each other and can’t live without each other, often take agreed-upon breaks from the relationship from time to time, either with or without other partners while they are separated.Long-term commitments are filled with attachments to meaningful experiences, people, material goods, and history that may go beyond the loss of personal intimacy.These attachments can bring people back together after a separation in ways that new relationships are less likely to do. If one or both partners in a relationship have drifted too far apart to repair the loss, that separated man may be soured against getting involved long-term again or authentically seeking a new long-term relationship.A partner who may have understood a one-night stand that is immediately confessed is less likely to feel as humiliated as one who finds out much later or when a relationship is more established.She will likely assume that person was there from the beginning and the reason for the break-up if her partner asked for the separation.In either case, a relationship they begin while being separated is just another kind of infidelity.
As those problem must eventually re-emerge, the subsequent breakups are likely to happen more quickly.
Over time, and especially if they’ve been in disappointing other relationships, they miss each other again and valiantly try to “make it work.” If they don’t see those patterns and correct them, that process will occur until they either wear each other out or find someone they’d rather invest in.
Committed partners who still care deeply for one another, on the other hand, often separate because of external stress, worn-out interactions, infidelities, or a slow drift-apart that neither realized could have ended up in a separation.
The man in those unfinished relationships may be temporarily available to a new partner, but is highly likely to go back to his other relationship.
Time the Prior Relationship Has Existed All committed relationships go through stages where the partners feel connected and that they wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, and other times where one or both starts to feel that the partnership is on a collision course.
A man in grief, angry, unhinged, or feeling newly free of cumulative stress can be a vulnerable target for an outside person, or even an unthinking seeker of temporary escape.