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As we noted, timing counts as well as the seriousness of the relationship.

Reading between the lines, we get the idea that you believe that the way he handled things was disruptive.

Indeed, this is good for your daughter because she has a happier mother and gets to see you moving forward with your life. Yes, this will change the dynamic with your ex husband, but maybe for the better.

He will see you as a competent woman that others find attractive.

She can see that you get along and therefore will not feel like she’s betraying either one of you if she has something nice to say about one parent in front of the other.

She was kind enough to ask me to comment on the question and posted it on her blog site.

There are three crucial issues here, timing, the age of the child, and respecting the dignity of the ex who has to deal with a new lover on the scene. When a parent realizes that his (or her) kids may be confused or hurt by meeting a “new friend” too early, they often show intelligent restraint. You will have plenty of private time away from the kids, but when they are around, they are your priority.

This is a topic covered nicely in The Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Your Children. It’s best to wait a long time before you introduce a new person into your children’s lives, particularly if they are teens or younger.

Good work In the time we've been apart, he's become seriously involved with at least 2 women, both of whom spent time with my daughter. I don't like the precedent he set, for a couple reasons, and decided that if & when I got involved with someone, I'd play it differently.

This point really requires a whole chapter because it is so important and difficult. Our approach in The Intelligent Divorce is to teach and not preach.