Dating in parallel
I am a professional project manager, so I decided to date as a project with a plan, criteria and schedule.
This turned out very time consuming, and with three kids and a job, a logistical undertaking worthy of a four star general.
Then I thought about it, if to be fulfilled I need to have a soul mate, shouldn’t I treat it as a priority?
I had been approaching the age of twenty back then, and had just moved to the big city. They are functional products, and we don't spend weeks or months comparing, analyzing, reading reports and the like. It is in our human nature to compete, to get better, to have a reference point. You know that if this falls through, you have other options.
In my teenage years, everything went down the more traditional route: you liked a girl, you asked her out. Then there are the high-involvement products, such as computers, flat-screen TVs, or cars. Otherwise we are just drifting along in our lives, without a goal or purpose. The first day ever I realized that a date was not only seeing me, it activated hidden potentials inside. Not by spending more money on fine dining or expensive gifts, but on actually trying to make each experience more unique by cooking a better dinner, picking events that not only I would like to attend, but more so she. You didn't just invest in one stock, then watched your Enron shares plummet to zero. It also makes you act more naturally, and she will notice that you are not 'fixated' on her.
Not dozens, but always two to four at the same time. TIME CONSTRAINT In the average human lifespan, the time period to find, evaluate, test a potential future spouse is limited. INCOMPLETE MARKET INFORMATION If we had to describe our 'type', our perfect version of the opposite sex, most of us would struggle. Get naked, engage in some good old-fashion fucking, and find out if you enjoy each other horizontally, if you like the taste of the other person, the sound they make when you fuck, the sex smell afterward.
Instead, at some point you realize that she's dating other guys as well.
After work I would whip off the cami to reveal cleavage, slip on the sky high heels stashed in my bag, put on dangly jewelry, and of course dab on extra mascara and lipstick to show off my (natural) pout.