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Dismissively attached adults will often seek out relationships and enjoy spending time with their partner, but they may become uncomfortable when relationships get too close.They may perceive their partners as “wanting too much” or being clinging when their partner’s express a desire to be more emotionally close.According to Dan Siegel, when parents are distant or removed, even very young children “intuitively pick up the feeling that their parents have no intention of getting to know them, which leaves them with a deep sense of emptiness.”Why do some parents, who consciously want the best for their child, find it difficult to remain attuned or to be emotionally close to their children?

A second strategy is to suppress memories of negative attachment events, such as a breakup.People who formed an avoidant attachment to their parent or parents while growing up have what is referred to as a dismissive attachment in adulthood.Because they learned as infants to disconnect from their bodily needs and minimize the importance of emotions, they often steer clear of emotional closeness in romantic relationships.These parents also discourage crying and encourage premature independence in their children.In response, the avoidant attached child learns early in life to suppress the natural desire to seek out a parent for comfort when frightened, distressed, or in pain.

However, on a physiological level, when their heart rates and galvanic skin responses are measured during experimental separation experiences, they show as strong a reaction and as much anxiety as other children.