Dating my boyfriends brother

The thing that complicates it for me is when I think he likes me I feel myself pulling back because I don’t want anything serious at this time (I’m not even divorced yet) but when I feel like he isn’t interested in me, it hurts my feelings. And you don’t seem to be focusing on that fact, which strikes us as imprudent.

(Maybe this is a guy thing.) However, the most likely reason this new guy—the brother—is giving you mixed signals, is because he knows that it’s not a great idea to date his brother’s ex-wife, or rather, wife, since you’re not yet divorced. We tend not to date our friends’ ex-girlfriends, or ex-wives. Yes, it does happen, but only under special circumstances, and often after some time has passed.

But the truth is his brother said, “He’s still an A-hole you know? ” Then there was one whole week where he totally disappeared and ignored my texts, and didn’t respond until a week later. I wonder if it had to do with his ex but that’s just a guess.

He asked me to meet him at a local bar when he was out for his brother’s birthday.

(His brother, my ex, also invited me.) But I was unable to attend because I had my children that evening and no sitter.

With us working opposite schedules and both having kids—we don’t want them involved—it has never worked out for us to get together.

I also feel kind of strange about the fact that he is inviting me over after 9pm, but I also realize that there isn’t any other choice at this point because his kids live with him.

For any brothers out there, this pretty much sucks because – in your mind – nobody will ever be "good enough" to date your own sister.