Dating test for kids
Here Kara loses her job or Sam's grandmother dies and he is devastated, or Chris has a medical crisis.
The couple is challenged to respond as a unit – to be supportive about the job, to come or not to the funeral, to face the medical issues together -- all a testing of the strength of the relationship and each partner's ability to deal with crises and anxiety.
Here is where what each person is particularly sensitive to – criticism, control, lack of appreciation, not getting enough attention – begins to stir: Chris starts to feel micromanaged, or Kara feels abandoned and is increasingly resentful of his working weekends.
Here is where couples can begin to argue about who is more hurt, who is too sensitive, arguments that can seem endless or destructive. Often by this time in the relationship real-life experiences become part of the mix and challenge.
Or you have a lot in common but there is no sexual attraction; you try to shift the relationship to friend status.
But with this is also a relaxing of that walking-on-eggshells behavior.
Chris and Kara are more open about what bothers them, especially if they are living together and can’t use distance to water down their irritations.
But the bigger danger is that it does all click and both are so caught up in the greatness of it all that neither one wants to rock the boat and spoil the magic. That both partners hold back – you don’t bring up that he was late, or that she tends to dominate the dinner conversations even though it bothers you.
Physical distance keeps the potential emotional conflict at bay: You bite your tongue and by the time the next weekend rolls around your irritation has receded.