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Of course, when you flip the data around and look at what age men find women most physically appealing, you get an appalling answer.

Instead of the female curve, which suggests that 34-year-old women like 34-year-old men, men find 20 year-old women most physically appealing, no matter how old they were.20 year old men prefer 20 year old women. It’s shocking to see on paper, but not so surprising if you’ve ever talked to an actual man, read a men’s magazine or looked at porn intended for men.

But still keepin’ on as best I can in a world of too many Aryan crypto-Nazi movie stars named Chris and not nearly enough Madchen Amick. In four days a tangerine uvula will spittle across our collective national identity like an angry, castrated llama gnawing on a Jolly Rancher. You have given in to the dark forces of greasy pec butt fondle spikewank. But the time for mock has never been more important. It’s like a fourth grade purple nurple delivered by Timmy Flynn to poor Gavin Mac Garninkle mated with a greased up Arizona cactus and then that hybrid being vomited up a Poltergeist II tequila worm, only to see that purple cactus worm vomit hybridity coalesce into human form just to pinch Victoria’s tooter.

Perhaps obvious douchewanks with hot chicks in tow have vanished like Rollo Tomase chasing Keyser Soze.

First I should probably dispel the widely-accepted notion that I was “harassed” off of Twitter.

Data reveals truths that we might not want to say out loud.This doesn’t mean that 40 year old men want to MARRY that 20 year old woman, only that they find her the most physically appealing.To tell men NOT to feel this way would be akin to telling them not to breathe.We use cookies and similar technologies to collect and process data for such purposes as to personalise content, deliver personalised advertising, to perform analytics, and to optimise the functionality of our site. Learn more about our services and those of trusted third party partners via our privacy notice.

Now, I don’t always agree with all of the conclusions that Rudder draws from his Ok Cupid data.