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The reality is that when someone hasn’t healed past hurts and relationship wounds, they really aren’t ready to get into a new relationship.( For much more on this topic, make sure to read my article How Guys Deal With Breakups) Now there have been times where the so-called damaged guy jumps into a relationship seemingly out of the blue after months or even years of lamenting about how “damaged” he is.This can happen for a few reasons: 1) The new girl he jumps in with completely takes him out of that “mode” or “funk” he was caught up in.And part of deepening a relationship is knowing the other person more and more deeply and gaining a fuller understanding of who they are. But the dazzling new Cleopatra that stepped into the picture is a blank canvas – he can paint her up to be anything he wants to imagine that she is in his mind.The less he actually knows about her, the more he can fill in the gaps with his own fantasy.There are some great guys out there that have had their heart broken one to many times.And by the time they’re in your life, they have a lot of unclaimed baggage that they have yet to resolve.
I know a gal who lost a number of people in a streak. Let’s look at why: To put it quite plainly, you want something that simply is not reality.The more you try to force reality, the more it’s going to feel like pressure to the guy friend and the more he’s going to shrink away from you and guard himself.It’s amazing how quickly a man will get his act together when he believes he might lose his shot at something. Sure, these arrangements usually end up melting down (maybe in a week, a month or a year), but during that time he gets to postpone dealing with his issues and can numb his pain with a simple girl who doesn’t unearth any skeletons … 3) The new girl had the advantage of a fresh “mystique” – that is, he doesn’t know anything about her and she put up a dazzling image that completely seduced him.The reality of relationships is that for them to move forward, they need to deepen over time.
They married their best friend and they’re happy with it.