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It completely and totally sucked, but as with many tough life lessons, it came with a silver lining.

These were experiences I could now share with others, and in retelling them, I learned to laugh at myself, which helped me find a way to take some of the sting out of difficult situations.

“She threw out my bottle of Jaeger and said we had to have sex sober.

I told her I can only make out with her when I’m drunk.” I chose my response carefully.“What’s the main thing you’ll miss about being with her? She’s cancelling my membership,” she said through her tears.“Is there anything else?

Sure enough a few days later, Carly and Anne had another falling out. You’re right, if I’m nothing without a relationship I shouldn’t be in one.” I was surprised at how effective my superhero analogy had been.

This time I didn’t run over to coddle her, and she seemed noticeably better.“I don’t need her to be happy. “Anne and I blocked each others phone numbers, and she gave me the Louis Vuitton bag I loved borrowing so much.”“That’s great,” I said, almost confused by how nonchalant she sounded about it all.“ she’s keeping me on her gym membership for one more month, as long as I never call her again.”“Oh,” I said. I think the best deal I got from an ex was finding a good accountant.”“I have a date next week with a trainer from Equinox! “He’s so hot…” As Carly trailed on about her new flavor of the week, I began to zone out.

A classic serial dater who seemed terrified to be alone.

His career has included critical and popular success in his youth, followed by a period of substance abuse and legal troubles, and a resurgence of commercial success in middle age.She loved living life on someone else’s dime, and she often seemed more into the swanky apartment she could crash at to escape her dorm than into the actual woman she was dating.When she landed back at Kaufman Hall, I went over with every good intention of cheering her up (a Frappuccino and some candy in tow).I only wanted to leave if I fell for another guy I thought would be willing to take over.The idea of being alone terrified me, so finding someone else was my relationship exit strategy.

”“I can’t afford to buy my own Louis Vuitton.”“Have you seen the movie ? Considering she had barely entered elementary school when the movie was released, of course she hadn’t.